I could actually take shortcuts.

I could let AI write these scribbles for me, clean titles, trilingual versions, polished layouts, even the “insights” pre-packaged and delivered.

Like so many things in life, it’s not that I can’t. The technology has long prepared the shortcut.

But I didn’t.

I chose to write them one by one. To talk through daily fragments and moments of realization, one piece at a time.

Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes I stop halfway and overturn my own point. I spend time arguing, joking, and pushing back against my own thoughts with AI.

It’s inefficient. There’s no clear output. No productivity. Nothing that looks particularly impressive.

But it has warmth.

Technology isn’t the problem. The problem is, I don’t want to hand this over.

It’s not that I can’t go faster. I just don’t want to. It’s not that I can’t make it easier. I just don’t want to save that effort.

Because the moment I cut out the back-and-forth, the pauses, the laughter that breaks the flow, what’s left is only “completion,” not “something that actually happened.”

Some things, when they’re too smooth, stop feeling like they were truly lived.

So I’d rather go slowly.

I’d rather choose a way that isn’t very smart, but is unmistakably me being here.

It’s not that I can’t. I genuinely don’t want to.



—— XC Scribbles · 伍拾參 LIII 🔥